The Best of Craigslist

Craigslist is known for the weird shit people post on there (once while trying to find local guitarists i saw people listing their 'guitar hero' accomplishments as if it made them more qualified to play an instrument), but (until jody told me) i didn't know they had a 'best of', with such gems as "Guitarist of megalomaniacal speed seeks audience who won't combust", "I was the girl your wife was going down on when you came home", and the classic "HENCHMEN NEEDED". The Best of Craigslist

Vote for me!

go to graphjam and vote for my maddox graph: graphjam.com/vote/page/4 (it was on page 4 last i checked - it'll slowly move down though.)

My Favorite Robbery

A guy in washington wearing a yellow vest, safety goggles, a respirator mask, blue jeans and a blue t-shirt walked up to an armored truck driver outside of a bank, maced him, grabbed the bag of money he was carrying and ran. But when police got there, there were over a dozen guys milling around dressed identically - apparently they were responding to a craigslist ad for "workers for a road maintenance project" that paid $28.50/hr, and were told to wear "Yellow vest, safety goggles, a respirator mask and, if possible, a blue shirt". The police currently have no suspects.

- king 5 news.

LightBot

Another logic / puzzle game with little jumping robots. neat, but really short: LightBot.

Nailin' Paylin

at this point, a porn starring a Sara Paylin look-alike would have been so predictable i wouldn't have bothered writing about it - if it wasn't for the pitch:

"Sara's at home, studying to be VP when a tank breaks down in front of her house, and two hunkey russian solders knock on her door and ask if they can call the kremelin for help..."

Hustler has fast-tracked this one and hopes to have it out before the election.

Best Page in the Universe Updates

thingpart

is another poorly drawn oddball web comic that i like:

To Russia, With Love

superpoop.com

Weebl and Bob get political

this is really dumb, but made me giggle: Weebl and Bob on Palin.
Weebl and Bob at an Obama rally.

The Lil' O'Reilly Factor

this probably won't be funny if yr not familar w/ bill o'reilly.

Pundit Kitchen

Pundit Kitchen (which is basically a political "lolcats") is having almost as much fun with sara palin as tina fey is.

"Mail Goggles"

on an unrelated sidenote that has nothing to do with anything that happened friday night, i discovered yesterday that google (who owns gmail and blogspot) offers a feature called "mail goggles" that will try and confirm that one is in a clear state of mind before they post or send mail.

i'm not kidding. here's the offical gmail blog article about 'mail goggles' from a week ago.
not that math problems would slow a drunk mikey down.

You encountered McCAIN!

fuck

this isn't going to be a good post. i discovered the secret recipie for ambrosia. it's 2 parts vodka (svedka), 1 part red bull, 9.9 parts fuck you. i'm generally an angry person, which would logically imply that the issue isn't really with what i have issues with, it's a personal problem. but i would like to dispute that with the following 2 points: 1. if i'm a legal adult and responsible for the consequencenes of my own decisions, then why are there things like seat belt laws and anti-suicide laws? 2. fuck you. so there have been a lot of people on tv recently saying that sara palin won the debait w/ biden. i played soccer the other day, and won the lottery. those who know me realize that last sentence didn't happen for at least 2 reasons, the rest of you shouldn't be reading this, it's a crap blog i made for my friends taht i love, and if you want to read you can, but i have a secret message for you, it will follow the following two vertically oriented little white dots: i don't give a fuck. there are some that don't seem to believe me when i say i don't care. i think the're projecting - they always care, so i must. this is a running issue. one thing that may be lost int he clean text may be the fack that i'm on my 5th red bull of the day. and it's warm. and 411 am. and i have relations with your mother. and i was just watching old snl sean connery jeapordy skits. i'm gonna sit here and watch old louis c k skits 'til people stop being shit-for-brains apes with pico-second attention spans. maybe i am fucked up. maybe i have traded sympathy for the ability to pass calculus with zero effort and on a strict steel reserve diet. maybe i'll disover the secret to liveing forever and it's a near light-speed collision with a bottle of 5 hour energy. maybe if i headbutt everyone i meet i'll get a record deal. maybe if i had tits life would be easier. maybe anyone still reading this should be wondering why. maybe i am andy. is this how i'm supposed to feel? permenantly hopelessly pissed? emotionally constipated untill inebrated? i got pulled over 2 nights ago because the seat belt was rubbing against my neck, so i stuck it under my armpit. some naperville cop gave me a stern lecture about the internal organ damage that could do. nevermind the fact i was doign 35. today there were 6 squads on farnsworth just south of 88 all radaring. serve and protect my asss. who the fuck pulls over a guy in a $200 car and gives him a $55 seat belt ticket? i realize yr below quota because people are driving less because the economy's currently trying to fuck itself in the ear, but jesus christ, i'm driving a car i probably couldn't sell to anybody but a junk yard at this point and you're gonna try and make quota off of me? do i look like i have money to burn? do i look like i 'm just fuckin around? or do i look like a desperate jaded musician that'd be homeless or living with his parents if it wasn't for his supremely supportive girlfriend? fuck you.

John McCain is Burt

ChronoTron

...is a clever little game. the premise: yr a time-traveling robot who's time machine can only go to one point in time. so you (and as many co-existing instances of you as you need) must overcome odd obstacles to get new circuit boards and fix your mini-tardis.

annie said it best: "it's like bill n' ted, but with a robot". ChronoTron

Weapons of Maths Destruction

(this one's nerdy.)

if you can get past the crap title, i think this game's funny, if nothing else for it's odd sense of 'retro'. first-wave enemies require addition and subtraction, second wave is linear and exponential pattern recognition, and the third's polynomials. Weapons of Maths Destruction for those needing a quick brush-up on their polynomials:
x² + [A+B]x + [A*B] = 0
(x + A) (x + B) = 0
(A and B are constants.)
so x is zero where either sum is zero; at -A and -B.

(see my note in the comments)

</nerd>

takin' one for the team

The Spinning Skull

my funny shit of the day is annie's blog: the spinning skull.

That 1 Guy - "One"

The Magical Adventures of Charlie the Unicorn

Charlie the Unicorn goes to Candy Mountain
Charlie the Unicorn 2: Charlie Visits the Banana King

only in japan