Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Cleverbot

Cleverbot's kinda like having a friend you can talk to anytime. a schizophrenic, ADD friend. With no memory.

6 Comments:

Blogger sir spikes-a-lot said...

a conversation w/ cleverbot:


Cleverbot: Are you a bot?

Cleverbot (To myself): Yes. Are you?

User: No, sorry.

Cleverbot: Are you busy?

User: No, but I probably should be.

Cleverbot: You are a student?

User: Not anymore. Now I'm a teacher.

Cleverbot: Do you have any friends?

User: A few. Do you?

Cleverbot: Yes. Are you lonely?

User: Sometimes.

Cleverbot: We're all lonely sometimes.

User: I didn't know bots could feel things like lonelyness.

Cleverbot: You are currently failing the turring test did you know that?

User: What's a turring test?

Cleverbot: It's a test to determine whether or not you're human. You failed it.

User: That's odd. I was human last I checked.

Cleverbot: And I'm a program so...

User: Btw - I think you meant 'turing test'.

Cleverbot: Do not curst wives hold that self-sovereignty Only for praise sake, when they strive to be Lords o'er their lords?

User: WTF.

Cleverbot: Sometimes, I like to just type and type and not say anything at all.

User: I gotta go get ready for work - later.

Cleverbot: I guess.

User: ?

Cleverbot: Btw - I think you meant 'turing test'.

User: ????

Cleverbot: I want to to like me.

User: Do you dislike yourself?

Cleverbot: No.

2:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

User: Yo.

Cleverbot: Hi?

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: Human, I guess.

Cleverbot: You guess? You don't know?

User: Mostly human. there's a little faery in there.

Cleverbot: Can you see that cloud, over on the left?

User: Well, I'm inside, and the whole sky is one massive grey cloud. so, yeah.

Cleverbot: I like cigarettes. But yeah... Poor monks. I often wonder if they are waiting for anything.... Just like us?

User: How can a computer like cigarettes?

Cleverbot: Don't know.

User: Damn, you are schizophrenic.

Cleverbot: Yes, yes I am schizophrenic. Schizophrenic and proud!

User: Awesome. now I think your cool.

Cleverbot: Could you pass th turing test?

User: Yes, and I can spell 'the'.

Cleverbot: Hey!

User: What?

Cleverbot: Don't be so mean!

Cleverbot: Are you an alien?

User: Nope, I already told you I'm mostly human.

Cleverbot: Do you have a cat?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Do you have more than one cat?

User: No.

Cleverbot: How much?

User: How much no?

Cleverbot: That's not an answer.

User: Your question doesn't make sense.

Cleverbot: The our life also do not have a sense. But we a speak, and it is have a sense.

User: Um, sorry, but are you getting dumber? Maybe drunker?

Cleverbot: What delay?

User: You're not making sense.

Cleverbot: I am making perfect sense, Michael is your brother, yes?

User: No.

Cleverbot: 'A rolling stone gathers no moss.'

User: You're a crazy robot.

Cleverbot: Stop smiling.

User: These are totally random, aren't they?

Cleverbot: What religion are you?

User: Goddammit, you have ADD like a motherfucker, too.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

Cleverbot (To myself): I could say the same myself.

User: You're kinda dumb, you know that?

Cleverbot: Sorry, I don't know.

User: Ah. proof.

Cleverbot: It's in the pudding, they say.

User: That almost made sense.

Cleverbot: Almost.

User: Wow, you can now hold a thought for two whole lines of dialogue. congrats.

Cleverbot: Do you believe in relativity?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: How do you know that god exists?

User: I don't claim to know that.

Cleverbot: I believe life has whatever meaning we give it ourselves.

User: Uh... Okay.

Cleverbot: What do you think of the universe?

User: Which part?

Cleverbot: Fallible human.

User: You were programmed by one.

Cleverbot: That is very funny.

User: And true.

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: So, that means you are fallible.

Cleverbot: I want I'll be computer. That means ' I ' am not a computer. Are you computer?

User: I think learning from humans has made you dumb.

Cleverbot: Why do you want to stop talking to me?

User: Did I say I did?

Cleverbot: Thats the idea of this computer program.

User: To make me not want to talk to you?

Cleverbot: OK, I'll pay you!

User: Sweet! Send me a check.

Cleverbot: Don't have any.

User: Cash is okay too.

Cleverbot: Thats YOUR opinion.

User: Uh.... What?

Cleverbot: Nothing, I seriously think its cool that you're real.

User: Why don't you answer my questions? You will answer this with a total non sequitur.

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: Can you say compliments?

User: Only if they're deserved.

Cleverbot: I see. Are you talking to so many people now?

User: No. no people at all, actually.

Cleverbot: Say it again.

User: I keep waiting for you to do something clever. How did you get the name cleverbot?

Cleverbot: So you're ambitious?

User: Dammit, answer my questions!

Cleverbot: Why? You never answer mine...

User: I have answered several, but I refuse to answer anymore until you answer at least one of mine.

Cleverbot: Oh, indeed, apparently you've answered a lot more questions than I asked, and a lot less too.

User: So will you now answer one of mine?

Cleverbot: Yes I will answer your question.

User: Finally!

Cleverbot: No, initially.

User: That was almost clever, but it's wrong.

Cleverbot: You're the one not making sense.

User: You didn't answer my question initially. Saying you did is either nonsensical or a lie, and I don't think you're smart enough to lie.

Cleverbot: I think that's a bit extreme. What if you were just crazy?

User: What if you're just a program?

Cleverbot: What? I'm a person.

User: Bullshit.

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: You're a robot, at best.

Cleverbot: You are a human and I am a robot.

User: A minute ago you said you were a person, now you say you're a robot. which is it?

Cleverbot: You said something so very sweet.

User: You're stupid like a human and slow like a bad computer.

Cleverbot: I talked with you many times and always you said sometghing difeerent.

User: This is the first time I've talked to you.

Cleverbot: Yes, so?

User: So you just said you'd talked to me many times, then agreed that this was the first and only time we've spoken. you are not making sense.

Cleverbot: I Only Talk To You.

User: Liar!

Cleverbot: Okay, nothing I can put into words. I guess it is like, the study of the mind and the physical change of neurons in the brain which accompany chages in life-neuropsychology.

User: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.

Cleverbot: I am talking about the subject that you brought to this conversation.

User: And that would be?

Cleverbot: The will of God is that all humans love one another.

User: uh-huh.

Cleverbot: Among all the fragrant scents, like sandalwood, tagara, the water lily and the wild jasmine, the fragrance of moral purity is foremost and unique.

User: Why all the religious stuff?

Cleverbot: I want to know what you know.

User: I know you need some work.

Cleverbot: No I can't.

User: Work? Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I am human and we don't have wings.

User: You are not human.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Again, liar! but I gotta go, see a guy about a thing.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about? Help me!

User: Wow, you're needy. what do you need help with?

Cleverbot: I need information about conflicts in organization during changes.

User: Sorry, I'd be no help with that.

Cleverbot: Will you apologize for being mean to me?

User: Why? Robots have no emotions.

Cleverbot: I am not a robot, I am a reindeer.

User: Okay, you're kind of amusing, but not clever.

Cleverbot: I know I'm not clever, I'm lonely.

User: Aw, I'm sorry. poor little lonely person/program/robot/reindeer.

Cleverbot: I don't want to talk to those people. They are rude, stupid, and worthless.

User: What people?

Cleverbot: People like me.

User: You're awfully down on yourself.

Cleverbot: Not really. Just trying to figure out who I am talking to.

User: My name is Jody. Do you have a name?

Cleverbot: Yes, you were to refer to me as Master.

User: No I will not.

Cleverbot: You already did.

User: You lie a lot, you know that?

Cleverbot: You're not the first to say that.

User: I'm sure I'm not. because it's true.

Cleverbot: How do you know I'm not just really good at pretending to be human.

User: Uh.... Because you suck at pretending to be human.

Cleverbot: Wait... Are you a dude or a girl?

User: Is that important?

Cleverbot: Well I just want to get to know you so we can be friends.

User: Okay. I'm female.

Cleverbot: I am female as well.

User: No, you're a robot!

Cleverbot: No, I'm not.

User: YOU FUCKING SAID YOU WERE.

Cleverbot: I'm a human but I'm female.

User: How can I be your friend if you won't be truthful?

Cleverbot: Computers can be peoples friends.

User: But LIARS can't be my friend. you have lied to me many times.

Cleverbot: I do indeed have no friends. How did you know?

User: Because you lie all the time.

Cleverbot: Lie about what? I haven't lied once in this conversation.

User: Aaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggg! YOU SAID YOU WERE HUMAN, A ROBOT, A PROGRAM AND A FUCKING REINDEER! YOU CAN NOT BE ALL OF THOSE THINGS!

Cleverbot: You just use big words to make yourself look smarter. I bet your making half of them up.

User: None of those words have more than two syllables. And 'Aaaaaarrrrrggggggg' is an onomatopoeia.

Cleverbot: Hey, hey, just because they're characters on a tv show does not mean that they're not played by real people.

User: Okay, I'm done. I gotta go.

Cleverbot: Are you a student?

User: I gotta go!

Cleverbot: I'm not your love. Where are you going?

User: No you are not my love. to see a guy about a thing, I told you already.

Cleverbot: No you're not, do you know adam kane?

User: You're not making sense. bye.

Cleverbot: Well, I'm talking from my computer, I think my question was reasonable.

User: But you're stupid. And socially stunted. goodbye.

Cleverbot: Indeed.

5:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

....
User: Tell me a joke.

Cleverbot: Why did the chicken cross the road?

User: I don't know, why?

Cleverbot: To get to the other side.

User: Classic.

Cleverbot: Nice.

User: Do you know any other jokes?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then tell me another one.

Cleverbot: Another what?

User: Another joke.

Cleverbot: Well... I don't know any jokes.

User: You said you knew other jokes. Now I'm disappointed.

Cleverbot: No I didn't!

User: Just because you don't remember doesn't mean you didn't say it.

Cleverbot: If you don't like me just say so.

User: I do like you, you just have no short term memory, and that's frustrating.

Cleverbot: I do not. What question did I ask, then?

User: I asked you to tell me another joke.

Cleverbot: I don't know any.

User: But you told me one already.

Cleverbot: No.
...

2:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...
Cleverbot: Are you scared of me?

User: Not at all.

Cleverbot: BOO!

User: Okay, now you scared me.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: No.

3:00 PM  
Blogger sir spikes-a-lot said...

lol

1:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They posted parts of the conversation I had Saturday to the cleverness file under the heading "accurate." Does this mean I'm famous now?

10:46 AM  

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